The idea and practice of ancestral honour for modern pagans is one that has not found a huge following. This is strange when you consider that every continent and almost every country on Earth, practices or has practiced ancestor worship or honouring of the familial dead for thousands of years; Africa, Egypt, Rome, China, Japan, Korea, Burma, Mexico, South America, India, the Philippines, Vietnam, Thailand, Europe and North America.

It is sad that we as modern pagans, especially those of us who claim to communicate with Spirits regularly, ignore or neglect this basic tenet of paganism.

In my tradition, the Veil of Death is a reality; a thin gauze of perception that separates the ‘Living’ from the Dead. It can be breached, and Those on the other side can come to us, and we can go to Them. It is the Way of the true Worker to operate on both sides of the Veil, traversing back and forth with caution, care and courage.

Veneration of the deceased is based on the belief that souls of the Dead have an existence past this world and can help influence (for good or ill), the daily fortunes and circumstances of the living. Some people make propitiation to their angry Dead, trying to placate and appease. Some honour out of filial duty and consider it a cultural obligation, nothing more.

In many Egyptian, Eastern and Native American cultures, homage is paid to ensure the soul’s well-being in the land of the Dead; to ease their journey across the Death River and to help make them comfortable in their new home. In that way, the living help the Dead in the transition and hopefully, the Dead will return the favour when once safely across the River.

There is a difference between ancestor veneration and ancestral worship. While I honour my Dead, I do not worship them. They are not Deity. The veneration is a remembrance, an offering of gratitude for what they did for me when they were alive and hopefully, for what aid and guidance they can offer me through their deaths. In cases where the relationship may have been strained or tenuous while one party was alive, showing respect and honour after death can bring healing and reconciliation.

I have found this true in my own case, with my mother especially. There were things I meant to ask her and things I wanted to tell her before she passed. I have now told her those things and received of her the same. Even in Death, our relationship is one of constant change and shades of emotion. Death does not heal all wounds.

Ancestral veneration is neither difficult nor complicated. I have an altar with pictures of my father, mother and grandma (the three most influential people in my life). I have a bit of tobacco for mom and dad who were both smokers, snuff for grandma, a few candles and some vodka (mom loved vodka). For my aunt, who I stayed with often, I have a handkerchief (she cried very easily) and one fresh flower.

I usually honour them when the Sister is full, sitting in quiet thought, conversing with them. I remember their influence on my life; what they gave, what they took away, and how I can still learn from them. It’s interesting because often, during these meditative states, my memories are jarred and I recall things that I thought I had forgotten; plant Spirit workings with my dad, card reading techniques with my mother, jokes, stories….memories from the Shadows.

The Veil is thin. We tap into that unconscious state, where the living and the Dead are the same. This mortal coil cannot hold our Spirits back from our ancestral bloodline. Our family lineages provide us strength and stability in a world of constant change. I know that I too, one day, will be deceased. I hope to be a help to my bloodline, to my family tree. I hope to provide wisdom and a helping hand to my descendants as I am able.

Often, many people won’t have a permanent altar, but will honour their dead on certain days of the year. For me, this day is Dia de los Muertos, (Day of the Dead), usually on November 1st. The night before (Halloween or Samhain), I prepare Mexican dishes that my family enjoyed and set out their portions on a table lit with candles and decorated with fruits and flowers. I ask for their presence, aid and guidance. I leave the food overnight. The next day, (November 1), I remove the food and return it to the Earth Mother.

This food has been ‘eaten’ by the Dead. We are not to eat it or throw it out as this is disrespectful. Laying the food outside allows the creatures of the Earth and the Mother’s own grounding capabilities to safely dissipate the energy of the Dead. I offer prayers and written petitions to them on this day. I keep a consecrated candle lit for all three of them. I feel gratitude, I feel honoured to have known them and I feel blessed that their presence is still in my life.

If you are not quite ready to commit to an permanent ancestral altar, please do take the time to remember your deceased, at least once a month, preferably when the Sister is full. Light a candle, burn some incense, make an offering, say a prayer. Just REMEMBER. Their blood pulses through your veins, their heritage is yours, their aid and assistance yours for the asking. The Veil is thin. We can communicate through it.

“We die with the dying:
See, they depart, and we go with them.
We are born with the dead:
See, they return, and bring us with them”.

T. S. Elliot – Four Quartets

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